Free your mind

Recently my family started going down a fairly intense journey with our house. We also happen to have a family member that went through a similar thing a few years ago. We talked many times as they were walking that journey out. When we realized what we were dealing with, I was on the phone with her and talked about how we were staying positive etc. A little bit into the conversation she said, "Nicole, do you remember what you told me when I started going through the same thing?" I didn't and she said, "I was having such a horrible time and I just found out what we were dealing with. I remember calling you upset and not knowing how I was going to do it. You told me, 'Well, you're just going to do it. And you're going to figure out what you're dealing with and then you're going to fix it and do what you have to do. And it's just a house and it's just money. You have your family and God and this won't destroy you. You'll take it one step of the time.' Nicole, what you told me then about my situation is exactly what you just said now about yours."

I was shocked.

I've given a lot of advice and wisdom over the years. And sometimes, even as I'm saying it, I know that although it's wise and good, I'm not sure how I'D actually be able to do it. I KNOW that it's easier said than done. A few years ago, when I gave that advice, I don't think I would have walked it out the same way in my own life. I cannot begin to tell you how exciting it is to SEE that you've actually grown in your faith. It's so humbling to realize that God actually DID something in you. Because don't you feel like sometimes you're just never going to learn? I know I do. Sometimes I just feel like I keep getting sucked back into the same thought patterns time and time again and I'll never get free. But isn't that the worst lie? That because you've always done it, that you always have to do it? I say no. I experienced what it was like to think better and I'm ready for all the changes God wants to do in me.

Because it's freedom, my friend. Freedom. No longer bound by the same anxious thought patterns. No longer a slave to fear. What is it for you? No longer punishing yourself for mistakes you've made? No longer buried in shame? No longer battling the same insecurities you've dealt with for decades? What are those lies you listen to? The areas you feel you'll never get free from? You have to know that YOU. CAN. BE. FREE. God can and WILL free you from the toxic ways of thinking you've always dealt with.

And one day, you will think differently. And on that day, you will realized that you've changed. You will realized that you aren't who you once were; that God has dramatically changed you in marvelous ways. His way is freedom. So it's time to get free.

Here's to the Broken One...

I see you.

I see you in churches, on facebook, in Bible studies.

I see you.

You're the "broken one." The one with the story. The one with the past. The one who feels cast aside, unwanted. The one who is to be helped, not to help. The one who can't hold a job. The one who can't have a baby. The one who has failed. The one who has been abused. The one who has been abandoned. The one who has lost so much. The one who is barely making it. I see you.

I see you and I've been you. Sometimes I still am you. The voices talk to me too. The voices that say your story is too messy. The ones that say you can't have anything to offer. The ones that tell you that God doesn't use people like you. People like you who took a path He told you not to. People like you who've walked through the valley of the shadow a bit too much. People like you whose stories aren't all tied up neatly with a bow just yet.

I know what it is when the pain and heartbreak and loss and frustration and failure changes  into something worse. I know what it feels like when it becomes worthlessness and purposelessness. I know what it is to feel like a constant burden. When you feel that you are more a problem than a blessing. I see you. I know you.

My dear friend, God says differently.

God says he loves you. He says you are beautiful. He says he knit you together in your mother's womb. He says he has already laid out good works for you to do. He says you aren't worthless.

And he's always right.

And He knew you'd be here and He knew you'd feel this way and He laid out a ton of stories in the Bible to show you just how NOT worthless you are. He gave you example after example of how he used broken and hurting and sinful people to complete His work. He chose people that were poor, prostitutes, adulterers, weak, doubters, selfish, and imprisoned. And he used them. He didn't pick the people that could take the best picture of their Bible or who had the nicest houses or the people who were the best at public speaking. HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN OUR WEAKNESS.

Friend, don't ignore what God will do through your brokenness if you let Him. Because it's gonna be amazing. HE has not forgotten you. He has not forgotten the plans for you. He won't quit on you because you got divorced or because you're in a miserable marriage or because you can't have kids or because you have too many or because you can't hold a job or because you've been abused or because you don't fit in at church or because the money is all gone. His mighty plans for you can't be stopped so easily. I promise... you aren't too messy for Him.