A story of gratitude

Okay guys I have a little story for you. It's a story about a woman for whom ungratefulness was no longer an option. It goes like this...

This woman and her husband and four darling children bought a new house. It was big and beautiful and they couldn't wait to start painting and make it their own.

They moved in and noticed a little mold. After a week of living there they had to leave so it could be remediated. Turns out, the entire house was covered with mold.

After bouncing around from friends to family for 3 months and this woman and her kids being apart from her loving husband and their sweet father, their friends gave them a camper to use.

This little family moved into a small camper in their yard. More mold and more problems kept popping up and they slowly went from being committed to doing the work in the house to realizing it was probably not realistic.

The little family of 6 now lives in the camper in their yard full time as they try to exhaust every last option.

Today that mom had a bit of a surreal moment. The breaker popped in the camper, yet again. She had just gotten home from a huge grocery trip with her kids and after lugging all the groceries into the camper and trying to look around to find where she would put all of them, she turned on the air conditioner. Pop. She flipped the breaker and it popped yet again when she turned on the air. As she walked through the house to flip the circuit breaker, she looked around. She remembered how happy she was about the attached garage so that she could park in it and bring her groceries right through the hallway into the house. As she walked to the basement, she was struck by how good the cool basement air felt on a hot day like today. She imagined that if she was living in the house, she would have parked and brought all of those groceries in while her kids escaped to the basement to cool off and relax for a while while she put the groceries away.

And she got a little angry inside. She got angry that they gave so much money to this house. She got angry that she had to walk through her big dream house to pop the breaker for her little camper where the thermostat said 91°.

And then she remembered. She remembered that she couldn't afford to think about the what-ifs. She couldn't afford to think about anger. She couldn't afford to go there. Too much was on the line. You see, the enemy had been after her heart all along. He wanted to see her dissatisfied and jealous. He wanted to see her angry and discontent. He wanted to see her question her God. And, you see, she knew this. She knew what he was after. So she picked up her head and walked out to that little camper and thanked God for those sweet little children that used a wheelbarrow to bring in her groceries. And she smiled with joy because her husband was coming home from work soon and she gratefully put away each of those things she had purchased because she was able to buy her children food and clothing. And she stood on the truth she knew. And she remembered the promises God has made.

That woman had too much on the line. She had too much to lose if she gave in. So she let the truth wash over her and submitted to Jesus and let him purify her mind. And suddenly, 91° never felt so good.

Free your mind

Recently my family started going down a fairly intense journey with our house. We also happen to have a family member that went through a similar thing a few years ago. We talked many times as they were walking that journey out. When we realized what we were dealing with, I was on the phone with her and talked about how we were staying positive etc. A little bit into the conversation she said, "Nicole, do you remember what you told me when I started going through the same thing?" I didn't and she said, "I was having such a horrible time and I just found out what we were dealing with. I remember calling you upset and not knowing how I was going to do it. You told me, 'Well, you're just going to do it. And you're going to figure out what you're dealing with and then you're going to fix it and do what you have to do. And it's just a house and it's just money. You have your family and God and this won't destroy you. You'll take it one step of the time.' Nicole, what you told me then about my situation is exactly what you just said now about yours."

I was shocked.

I've given a lot of advice and wisdom over the years. And sometimes, even as I'm saying it, I know that although it's wise and good, I'm not sure how I'D actually be able to do it. I KNOW that it's easier said than done. A few years ago, when I gave that advice, I don't think I would have walked it out the same way in my own life. I cannot begin to tell you how exciting it is to SEE that you've actually grown in your faith. It's so humbling to realize that God actually DID something in you. Because don't you feel like sometimes you're just never going to learn? I know I do. Sometimes I just feel like I keep getting sucked back into the same thought patterns time and time again and I'll never get free. But isn't that the worst lie? That because you've always done it, that you always have to do it? I say no. I experienced what it was like to think better and I'm ready for all the changes God wants to do in me.

Because it's freedom, my friend. Freedom. No longer bound by the same anxious thought patterns. No longer a slave to fear. What is it for you? No longer punishing yourself for mistakes you've made? No longer buried in shame? No longer battling the same insecurities you've dealt with for decades? What are those lies you listen to? The areas you feel you'll never get free from? You have to know that YOU. CAN. BE. FREE. God can and WILL free you from the toxic ways of thinking you've always dealt with.

And one day, you will think differently. And on that day, you will realized that you've changed. You will realized that you aren't who you once were; that God has dramatically changed you in marvelous ways. His way is freedom. So it's time to get free.

How to get bad news...

I wrote this one a month ago but I'm FINALLY getting to posting it. Here's a little update...

Okay friends, I gotta get real with you today. 2018 is NOT going how we planned. Alert. 2018 is NOT going according to plan.

Some of you know that we recently sold our first home. Our 1100 square foot first home. We loved it. It was adorable. It was tiny. And we bought a rather large, BEAUTIFUL home on 11 acres of beautiful land. The home is amazing with incredible views and an (awesomely) unique layout that feels like you're in a vacation home. We've waited years for a move like this, always saying we didn't want an "in-between" home for 5-10 years. We just wanted to wait and so we did.

The house was a little outdated in paint, etc and had a few repairs we were prepared to do but we could absolutely see what it would look like with our own touches on it. We daydreamed and planned until it was time to move in.

A couple days after we moved, I noticed mold in the basement. I looked around and found some more. A month later [2 months later now] and here I sit. In Pittsburgh. At my parent's house. Because my house has been mostly gutted. I'll be perfectly honest and say we have no idea what we're going to do. I started to list everything that needs to be done but had to stop myself because it was too intense. No. Idea. What. We. Will. Do.

And today we got more bad news.

I feel like we've been pretty even keel. Doing what we need to do to be responsible and trying to stay focused on our job/college/homeschooling and marriage and being parents (albeit long distance for the last ones.) We've been encouraging each other and staying the course. But today was different. Today was much more intense and although we stayed positive on the phone with each other, we both fell apart a bit after. I stayed in shock for about an hour and thankfully my mom took over when I had to leave the room before I yelled at a kid. I walked downstairs and through my tears muttered, "I can't do this." I can't parent and be kind and patient and care about them wanting an apple when I said no or wanting to play instead of going to bed. I can't do that while I'm falling apart. I'm not capable. And the moment I said, "I can't do this.", my next thought was, "But HE can. Jesus, I need you. Holy Spirit, fill me. I can't do this but you can." Filled with determination, I walked to my dad's study to be alone and as I sat down in his chair, I started singing a song many of you might remember from childhood, "The wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock, and the rains came tumbling down. The rains came down and the prayers went up... And the house on the rock stood firm." The song is talking about building our house (life) on Jesus, our rock. Because he is always faithful and never changing, our house will stay firm if built on Him. But when our life is built on the changing sands of this world (friendships, money, power, jobs, kids, houses, status, etc), it's sure to "go splat" like I believe the song says. Those things are ever shifting and changing. They'll never bring the security we desire.

As I thought more, I realized that my intense emotions were because I wasn't firmly planted in my faith. After talking to Eric and my mom, fully encouraged in my faith, my mom started talking about joy and I remembered that in the Bible, Nehemiah says, "Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." I don't know that I've experienced it in such a strong way before. As soon as I turned my eyes to the Lord, I felt SO strong and full of joy. When I placed my joy in HIM, I was strong, but when I was placing my joy in financial security and a house, I was weak and easily attacked. And I don't like feeling weak. So I will anchor myself in the Lord and if we lose all financial security and everything goes wrong, I will not have lost out. 

"And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?" Luke 9:25

I won't be lost or destroyed. In fact, it's been a while since I was this focused and secure. I was so looking forward to living in the beautiful home we've dreamed of for so long. I was excited for the earthly feeling of success (even though I hated thinking that way.) But I'm clear again. And I'm strong. And while I hope so much that everything works out wonderfully and that God tangibly blesses us in amazing ways and that this miraculously isn't an epic financial setback, the spiritual implications here are huge. And you can't put a price tag on that.

Guest Post and a Giveaway

So. I homeschool. I homeschool four very young children. In an 1100 square foot house. Just take a minute to picture that, okay? I’m gonna tell you something. There isn’t much that humbles you quite like homeschooling does. I love what I do. I love it with all my heart. I’ve grown more by homeschooling than I could have ever grown any other way I think. It’s pretty rad. But. I homeschool four very young children in an 1100 square foot house...

I'm guest blogging over at Let Love Invade and I've teamed up with Amber for a really fun giveaway for you! Head over to her blog to read the rest of this post and learn how you can win!!

http://letloveinvade.com/meet-him-in-your-mess-guest-post/

Love ya, friends!

The Invisible Time: Finding time for God in a busy world

I love the Lord. I love him with all my heart. There's no one I want to please as much as him and certainly no one else I trust as much as him. I love to worship him, talk to him, be with him, and serve him. But sometimes, it is so hard to slow down and be still with him. I can't be the only one, right? Life is so busy and so nonstop and sometimes I get in this rut where I start thinking about my time with God as another chore; another commitment on my calendar. I'll still fill my calendar with things I'm doing to serve him but end up skipping out on my alone time with him so I can plan another event, organize another meeting, or dream of another ministry. I'll make time to talk to the brokenhearted, encourage the hopeless, and lead the lost but I find myself too busy and frazzled to sit and be quiet with the One whom I love. And it doesn't work.

When I get in those cycles, I find myself burning out really quickly. I start getting snippy with my husband and angry with my kids. I begin to look at my ministry opportunities as drudge work and not the privilege I had been asking God to give me and I find myself looking at people as chores, not gifts from God. It's really awful, actually.

This weekend my area was hit really hard with a windstorm and we found ourself without power. It was very unpleasant. As a kid I thought a power outage was the best! We would light candles and cuddle around the wood burning stove while we pretended we lived in the 'olden days' and wished our whole town would turn off the power and water for an 'olden days weekend.' We failed to understand why all the grownups didn't agree. Well, this time, I was the adult. And it was NOT the same. We woke up to the clocks out. Bummer. Oh rats, we can't charge the phones. Bummer. Wait. NO COFFEE????? Serious bummer. And the list went on. The house started getting colder, I couldn't take a shower, I couldn't wash the laundry or run the dishwasher, I couldn't pop on a TV show to entertain the kids while we packed to get out of town. Wait, I can't even put a youtube video on the laptop? No WiFi?? What about the quarter cow in the freezer? How can I even make breakfast? I'm telling you. It was seriously not fun. And all I could think of was how good I have it on a regular basis. I take it for granted.

I find myself the same way with God. I LOVE my quiet time with my heavenly Father. I am encouraged, refined, uplifted, and coached by my perfect and holy God and it is incredible. He speaks to me and gives me clarity, he blesses me with peace and rids me of my fears. When I'm with God on a regular basis, the ministry set before me flows out of me with love and grace. It's such a wonderful way to be and to live. But at some point, I find myself starting to take it for granted. I forget or end up too busy for a couple days and then start only finding brief moments for my precious time with Him. If I let that pattern continue, I start to see the effects of being disconnected to my power source. When I'm plugged in to him, it's easy to forget what I am without that connection.

The hard part is that these days, we often mark our success by how packed our calendars are. We've started to think that our value is based on how much we can possibly do and not so much on whose we are. I've found myself caught in that trap more than I'd like to admit but God's been teaching me a lot about that. I think what really shines through a Christian is that time with God; the invisible time. No one sees you doing it, it doesn't take up calendar space, and you aren't 'accomplishing' anything. It's invisible but the power that comes from it is remarkable. It's the power to walk in grace when in our flesh we'd lash out. It's the power to look at another person beyond their circumstance, appearance, or social standing. It's the power to do more, love more, and be more than we ever could have on our own. It might be the invisible time but the effects are seen in incredible ways. Like my electricity, no one can see my relationship with God but like my living room lamp, I am illuminated by it.

War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 2

I think one of the biggest lies our enemy tells us is that we’re helpless; that our marriages, our husbands, and even ourselves, cannot change. It’s not true. It just isn’t. God talks all OVER the Bible about people changing. Our God is the God of hope and if you’ve been believing there is no hope for your marriage, I want you to ditch that idea RIGHT NOW. Right now. Stop thinking that. Our hope is in God and he does not fail. If the enemy can get us to believe that victory is impossible, he will render us completely ineffective. It’s not that we won’t be filled with power from the Holy Spirit, but instead that we won’t use that power. We won’t wield the sword if we believe it isn’t strong enough to kill the serpent.

Another problem is that sometimes we don’t know what sword to use to fight the battle with. We don’t know how to overcome the attacks of the enemy on our marriage. I’ve been there more than I’d like to admit. I’ve tried to fix my husband more than a handful of times and it doesn’t usually go over so well. The truth is, marriage is spiritual and we can’t fix something spiritual if we’re operating in the flesh. THANKFULLY, God, in his perfect, most wonderful goodness, has given us a slew of powerful, effective, beautiful, spiritual tools that can overcome the attacks of the enemy. And thankfully, they don’t depend on our own strength, intelligence, or ability.

When I think about the tools we have in this war called marriage, I can come up with a HUGE list of things God has told us in the Bible. Like, SO MANY TOOLS. It’s pretty sweet. But for the most concise, easy-to-remember list, I’ve gotta go back to Ephesians 6. In Ephesians, Paul tells us to put on the full armor of God and it’s intense. The armor consists of the following: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes that are the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. He then reminds us to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Each week we are going to be talking about a different part of the armor of God and how it directly applies to our marriage. We are going to see what the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace means for you when it comes to your marriage. We aren’t going to stand idly by and watch marriages fail and crumble before our eyes. Not if we have anything to do with it. We aren’t going to let sin rip our hearts to shreds or let the enemy’s lies destroy us and the men we love. We aren’t going to see another generation of children scarred by the pain of divorce.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

We will stand tall and FIGHT for our marriages. We will fight for our unsaved husbands. We will fight for the men so bogged down by burden that they barely crack a smile anymore. We will fight for our husbands trapped in addictive cycles with pornography, alcohol, or gambling. We will fight for the men who are so hurt they can’t pray for themselves. We will fight because we are the daughters of the most high God and he has showered us with favor and love. We will lift up our swords and sound our battle cry and say NO MORE. The enemy won’t have my marriage and he won’t have yours. My marriage is for God and my purpose is to bring glory to the God who has saved me. And nothing will get in my way. Let’s fight.

In Love

Have you ever read the verse Ephesians 4:15? It’s a beautiful verse. It’s a beautiful verse that’s surrounded by a beautiful chapter. Have you read the whole chapter? It’s good. Like, you should probably grab your Bible (or Bible app) and read it right now before you finish reading this blog.

Okay so did you read it?

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” Ephesians 4:15

I’ve heard that phrase, “speak the truth in love”, SO many times and usually by well intentioned Christians who are sweetly calling someone out for screwing up. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ve done it too. The interesting thing, though, is that there doesn’t seem to be any mention of someone sinning in that entire passage (Ephesians 4:1-16.) Wait. What? No, seriously. The whole section is about unity in the church. The whole thing is talking about building each other up, maturing together, and growing as one in God’s love. In fact, the next verse says, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special wok, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”

I can’t help but wonder… What if we looked at that as a command to speak the GREATEST truth in love? What if we spoke the ultimate truth of Christ crucified for the salvation of our sins with so much love that people couldn’t help but notice that something big was happening. What if we spoke the ultimate truth, about the ultimate love, while reflecting that love? Can you imagine how we’d see our world change? What if we stopped using that verse as license to kindly condemn and used it as a reason to lovingly proclaim the perfect love of Christ? What if…

What if the body of Christ rose up and actively SPOKE the TRUTH in LOVE. I just can’t help but think that we’d be completely shocked at what would happen. What if we stopped speaking the facts of what someone has done wrong and instead declared boldly that Christ died, was buried, and rose again to free them from every sin they’ve ever committed and that he loves them right where they are. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.

I’m not suggesting that there isn’t a time and place where we need to speak wisdom or correction to someone. Not at all. I’ve had to do so myself sometimes. But you know what? I don’t think that’s what we should be known for as the church of Christ. I think our reputation as the church needs to be that we passionately announce the freely available grace and mercy of Jesus with all the love we can contain. Could that possibly be what this broken, hurting, aching world needs?