Nicole Thayer

I’m here to tell you that marriage is a war. Pat Benatar was right when she said that love is a battlefield, although, contrary to public opinion, the war isn’t against your spouse. In the Bible, God tells us that we don’t struggle against flesh and blood but against the dark forces and principalities of this earth (demonic forces.) We have a real enemy and he isn’t our husband. And he’s out to get us. And our marriages.

Before we get much farther, I really want to talk about who this enemy is. It’s important to know your enemy and how he operates. Let’s start with the WHO. Our enemy is the devil and his nasty little demons. Now, one might think that sounds pretty scary but that that’s not all he is… he’s also DEFEATED. Yep. Already beat and humiliated over it. When you think about your enemy, don’t for one second forget that he’s already lost and is already a loser. So, now we know we’re fighting against an evil, defeated enemy. Next, we need to know how he operates. He’s a liar. That’s pretty much what he does. He just tells us lies about ourselves, our spouses, and even God. He’s a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44) Our enemy is a defeated liar.

Here’s who our enemy is NOT: our spouse. No matter what his failings might be, he’s not our actual enemy. Our enemy is not flesh and blood. Even if our husband is listening to the enemy, HE is not the enemy and this is SO important to remember because if we start getting confused about WHO our enemy is, we’ll get this whole thing backward. Have you seen the movie Face Off? Through a crazy chain of events, an FBI agent and criminal end up having face transplant surgeries and look like the other person (FBI guy looks like criminal and vice versa.) As you can imagine, it gets a little tricky when people don’t know who the real enemy is. It’s kind of the same in marriage. Our REAL enemy lies to us and tries to convince us that our spouse (the one we love, that God has given us and blessed us with) is our enemy. If we believe him, we start to destroy our spouse and marriage and because our focus has changed, we leave our real enemy alone. Seriously. Don’t forget who your enemy is not.

Next, we need to look at who our God is. OUR GOD IS AMAZING. Not only has he completely and utterly defeated and defamed our enemy, but he loves us with the most perfect love. He is love and truth. He is all knowing, operates outside of time, is all powerful, sovereign, and holy. He is our creator, savior, comforter, shelter, rock, healer, and strong tower. He gives grace and mercy and never stops loving us. God sent us a perfect savior and the Son of God himself became a HUMAN and operated within the time he created and lived in the earth he designed so he could save us from the punishment we deserved. That’s who our God is.

Finally, let’s look at who we are. We are the beloved of the Lord. We were created in his image and knit together by his hands. Because of what Jesus did for us, we are the redeemed of the Lord, blessed, righteous, filled with power, love, and a sound mind, and perfectly loved. He has given us authority over the enemy. He literally gave us authority and power over demons on this earth. Woah. You know what’s even cooler than that though? He tells us that that authority is nothing compared to the victory we have in eternal life with him.

Us then and now

Our enemy is a powerless liar. Our God is perfect in power. We are given authority and perfectly loved by God. I know I haven’t really talked about marriage yet but YOU GOTTA KNOW THIS.

Marriage is something incredibly special and unique. There is no other human relationship like marriage. In marriage, two human beings join themselves together in a covenant and bind together as one. It is a lifelong covenant designed to mirror the love of God for his people. In a marriage, we not only radically change each other but often are able to influence our children and our children’s children for generations to come. A strong marriage has the ability to enact powerful change in the world. Our enemy does. not. want. that. God designed marriage FOR us and for his kingdom. It's meant to be amazing.