War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 3

This week we're diving into the first part of the armor of God which is the belt of truth. For those who haven't been with us so far, we're talking about the spiritual battle taking place over our marriages and I highly suggest checking out Parts 1 (Here) and 2 (Here).

We'll start off by looking at the belt that this scripture is referring to. Roman soldiers wore a belt as sort of the 'anchor' for their armor. The belt was used to hold up their long robes so they could run and fight and was most likely the first piece of armor they would have put on. Also, they wore the belt even when not in battle. The belt had a spot for them to keep their sword and metal strips in the front to protect their... uh... manhood. (Hence the phrase "gird your loins with the belt of truth".) So the belt was a really important piece and like I mentioned, kind of a staple for them.

In marriage, truth is vital. We know it's important to be honest with our spouse but we're going to be talking about more than that. We're going to be looking at GOD'S truth for our marriages. It's simple but without it, we don't stand a chance. I know it can be really hard to filter the lies of the enemy in marriage so let's break down some of the ways we can put on the truth as wives.

The first thing is to realize that truth and facts are different. Facts are subject to change. Truth is not. For example, I can be sick today but tomorrow I can be well. The fact is that I'm sick today. That fact might not be the same tomorrow. The TRUTH is that God is healer. That will be the same tomorrow. I can't change that. It's constant and unchanging and unaffected by the facts. The fact might be that you have been a nagging or rude wife. The TRUTH is that God created you for good works which he set out before you. Here's the tricky part though... the enemy will use those facts to tell lies. The facts are neutral and the enemy will always use them to bend your mind HIS way. If the fact is that you've been a nagging, rude wife, the enemy will tell you that you're worthless, that you can't change, that it's your husband's fault you act that way, that it's the kids fault, that you're justified in it, that you're undesirable because of it, that your husband won't want you because of it, that your marriage won't be better because of it... You get the picture. It's all doom and gloom. It's all hopeless. It's all negative.

When you have that SAME fact that you've been nagging and rude and look at it through the TRUTH of God, it starts to look a whole lot different. God says, I have cast your sins as far as the east is from the west, go and sin no more, I have made you new, I make beauty from ashes, I can speak life into dry bones, marriage is from me, I am your healer, you can hope in me, trust in me, you are clothed in my righteousness, you are forgiven. It's all hopeful. It's all loving. It's all good.

When you don't know if you're believing the truth or a lie, just start looking at the fingerprints. The fingerprints of the enemy are doom, gloom, and destruction. The fingerprints of God are love, forgiveness, and hope. The enemy will lie about you and your value and also about your husband and his value. It's a messy thing when we start listening to him. When we do, we start believing his lies and speaking them out. The Bible talks a lot about the power of the tongue (the tongue has the POWER of life and death). When we start speaking the death stuff with our powerful tongue, it's not such a great situation. But when we start speaking out the TRUTH with that powerful tongue, it's amazing what can happen. The truth empowers both us and our husbands. It gives us hope and helps us remember we were created for more than what the enemy has been telling us. It reminds us that our value is based on God, not on what we do, and that allows us to live in freedom, not in bondage.

I want to encourage you to explore the lies you have been believing about your marriage. Have you been believing that your husband's pornography addiction means you are unattractive and worthless? LIE. Have you been believing that your sharp tongue or lazy tendencies can't be helped? LIE. Do you believe that you married the wrong person? LIE. Do you believe that your problems are too big for God to help? LIES! Take some quiet time in your prayer time and ask God to search your heart and reveal to you what lies you have been believing. I want you to write them down and counter them with the truth of what GOD says about each of those things. Not facts, just truth. Incorporate that into your prayer time every day and see what starts to happen as those mental strongholds start to crumble. "Take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5.

So belt up, ladies! Put on the first piece of your armor every morning and wear it all day long. You got this.

We're so in love.

We're so in love.

War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 2

I think one of the biggest lies our enemy tells us is that we’re helpless; that our marriages, our husbands, and even ourselves, cannot change. It’s not true. It just isn’t. God talks all OVER the Bible about people changing. Our God is the God of hope and if you’ve been believing there is no hope for your marriage, I want you to ditch that idea RIGHT NOW. Right now. Stop thinking that. Our hope is in God and he does not fail. If the enemy can get us to believe that victory is impossible, he will render us completely ineffective. It’s not that we won’t be filled with power from the Holy Spirit, but instead that we won’t use that power. We won’t wield the sword if we believe it isn’t strong enough to kill the serpent.

Another problem is that sometimes we don’t know what sword to use to fight the battle with. We don’t know how to overcome the attacks of the enemy on our marriage. I’ve been there more than I’d like to admit. I’ve tried to fix my husband more than a handful of times and it doesn’t usually go over so well. The truth is, marriage is spiritual and we can’t fix something spiritual if we’re operating in the flesh. THANKFULLY, God, in his perfect, most wonderful goodness, has given us a slew of powerful, effective, beautiful, spiritual tools that can overcome the attacks of the enemy. And thankfully, they don’t depend on our own strength, intelligence, or ability.

When I think about the tools we have in this war called marriage, I can come up with a HUGE list of things God has told us in the Bible. Like, SO MANY TOOLS. It’s pretty sweet. But for the most concise, easy-to-remember list, I’ve gotta go back to Ephesians 6. In Ephesians, Paul tells us to put on the full armor of God and it’s intense. The armor consists of the following: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes that are the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. He then reminds us to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Each week we are going to be talking about a different part of the armor of God and how it directly applies to our marriage. We are going to see what the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace means for you when it comes to your marriage. We aren’t going to stand idly by and watch marriages fail and crumble before our eyes. Not if we have anything to do with it. We aren’t going to let sin rip our hearts to shreds or let the enemy’s lies destroy us and the men we love. We aren’t going to see another generation of children scarred by the pain of divorce.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

We will stand tall and FIGHT for our marriages. We will fight for our unsaved husbands. We will fight for the men so bogged down by burden that they barely crack a smile anymore. We will fight for our husbands trapped in addictive cycles with pornography, alcohol, or gambling. We will fight for the men who are so hurt they can’t pray for themselves. We will fight because we are the daughters of the most high God and he has showered us with favor and love. We will lift up our swords and sound our battle cry and say NO MORE. The enemy won’t have my marriage and he won’t have yours. My marriage is for God and my purpose is to bring glory to the God who has saved me. And nothing will get in my way. Let’s fight.

War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 1

I’m here to tell you that marriage is a war. Pat Benatar was right when she said that love is a battlefield, although, contrary to public opinion, the war isn’t against your spouse. In the Bible, God tells us that we don’t struggle against flesh and blood but against the dark forces and principalities of this earth (demonic forces.) We have a real enemy and he isn’t our husband. And he’s out to get us. And our marriages.

Before we get much farther, I really want to talk about who this enemy is. It’s important to know your enemy and how he operates. Let’s start with the WHO. Our enemy is the devil and his nasty little demons. Now, one might think that sounds pretty scary but that that’s not all he is… he’s also DEFEATED. Yep. Already beat and humiliated over it. When you think about your enemy, don’t for one second forget that he’s already lost and is already a loser. So, now we know we’re fighting against an evil, defeated enemy. Next, we need to know how he operates. He’s a liar. That’s pretty much what he does. He just tells us lies about ourselves, our spouses, and even God. He’s a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44) Our enemy is a defeated liar.

Here’s who our enemy is NOT: our spouse. No matter what his failings might be, he’s not our actual enemy. Our enemy is not flesh and blood. Even if our husband is listening to the enemy, HE is not the enemy and this is SO important to remember because if we start getting confused about WHO our enemy is, we’ll get this whole thing backward. Have you seen the movie Face Off? Through a crazy chain of events, an FBI agent and criminal end up having face transplant surgeries and look like the other person (FBI guy looks like criminal and vice versa.) As you can imagine, it gets a little tricky when people don’t know who the real enemy is. It’s kind of the same in marriage. Our REAL enemy lies to us and tries to convince us that our spouse (the one we love, that God has given us and blessed us with) is our enemy. If we believe him, we start to destroy our spouse and marriage and because our focus has changed, we leave our real enemy alone. Seriously. Don’t forget who your enemy is not.

Next, we need to look at who our God is. OUR GOD IS AMAZING. Not only has he completely and utterly defeated and defamed our enemy, but he loves us with the most perfect love. He is love and truth. He is all knowing, operates outside of time, is all powerful, sovereign, and holy. He is our creator, savior, comforter, shelter, rock, healer, and strong tower. He gives grace and mercy and never stops loving us. God sent us a perfect savior and the Son of God himself became a HUMAN and operated within the time he created and lived in the earth he designed so he could save us from the punishment we deserved. That’s who our God is.

Finally, let’s look at who we are. We are the beloved of the Lord. We were created in his image and knit together by his hands. Because of what Jesus did for us, we are the redeemed of the Lord, blessed, righteous, filled with power, love, and a sound mind, and perfectly loved. He has given us authority over the enemy. He literally gave us authority and power over demons on this earth. Woah. You know what’s even cooler than that though? He tells us that that authority is nothing compared to the victory we have in eternal life with him.

Us then and now

Our enemy is a powerless liar. Our God is perfect in power. We are given authority and perfectly loved by God. I know I haven’t really talked about marriage yet but YOU GOTTA KNOW THIS.

Marriage is something incredibly special and unique. There is no other human relationship like marriage. In marriage, two human beings join themselves together in a covenant and bind together as one. It is a lifelong covenant designed to mirror the love of God for his people. In a marriage, we not only radically change each other but often are able to influence our children and our children’s children for generations to come. A strong marriage has the ability to enact powerful change in the world. Our enemy does. not. want. that. God designed marriage FOR us and for his kingdom. It's meant to be amazing.