War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 2

I think one of the biggest lies our enemy tells us is that we’re helpless; that our marriages, our husbands, and even ourselves, cannot change. It’s not true. It just isn’t. God talks all OVER the Bible about people changing. Our God is the God of hope and if you’ve been believing there is no hope for your marriage, I want you to ditch that idea RIGHT NOW. Right now. Stop thinking that. Our hope is in God and he does not fail. If the enemy can get us to believe that victory is impossible, he will render us completely ineffective. It’s not that we won’t be filled with power from the Holy Spirit, but instead that we won’t use that power. We won’t wield the sword if we believe it isn’t strong enough to kill the serpent.

Another problem is that sometimes we don’t know what sword to use to fight the battle with. We don’t know how to overcome the attacks of the enemy on our marriage. I’ve been there more than I’d like to admit. I’ve tried to fix my husband more than a handful of times and it doesn’t usually go over so well. The truth is, marriage is spiritual and we can’t fix something spiritual if we’re operating in the flesh. THANKFULLY, God, in his perfect, most wonderful goodness, has given us a slew of powerful, effective, beautiful, spiritual tools that can overcome the attacks of the enemy. And thankfully, they don’t depend on our own strength, intelligence, or ability.

When I think about the tools we have in this war called marriage, I can come up with a HUGE list of things God has told us in the Bible. Like, SO MANY TOOLS. It’s pretty sweet. But for the most concise, easy-to-remember list, I’ve gotta go back to Ephesians 6. In Ephesians, Paul tells us to put on the full armor of God and it’s intense. The armor consists of the following: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes that are the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. He then reminds us to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Each week we are going to be talking about a different part of the armor of God and how it directly applies to our marriage. We are going to see what the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace means for you when it comes to your marriage. We aren’t going to stand idly by and watch marriages fail and crumble before our eyes. Not if we have anything to do with it. We aren’t going to let sin rip our hearts to shreds or let the enemy’s lies destroy us and the men we love. We aren’t going to see another generation of children scarred by the pain of divorce.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

We will stand tall and FIGHT for our marriages. We will fight for our unsaved husbands. We will fight for the men so bogged down by burden that they barely crack a smile anymore. We will fight for our husbands trapped in addictive cycles with pornography, alcohol, or gambling. We will fight for the men who are so hurt they can’t pray for themselves. We will fight because we are the daughters of the most high God and he has showered us with favor and love. We will lift up our swords and sound our battle cry and say NO MORE. The enemy won’t have my marriage and he won’t have yours. My marriage is for God and my purpose is to bring glory to the God who has saved me. And nothing will get in my way. Let’s fight.

War and Marriage: A series for wives Part 1

I’m here to tell you that marriage is a war. Pat Benatar was right when she said that love is a battlefield, although, contrary to public opinion, the war isn’t against your spouse. In the Bible, God tells us that we don’t struggle against flesh and blood but against the dark forces and principalities of this earth (demonic forces.) We have a real enemy and he isn’t our husband. And he’s out to get us. And our marriages.

Before we get much farther, I really want to talk about who this enemy is. It’s important to know your enemy and how he operates. Let’s start with the WHO. Our enemy is the devil and his nasty little demons. Now, one might think that sounds pretty scary but that that’s not all he is… he’s also DEFEATED. Yep. Already beat and humiliated over it. When you think about your enemy, don’t for one second forget that he’s already lost and is already a loser. So, now we know we’re fighting against an evil, defeated enemy. Next, we need to know how he operates. He’s a liar. That’s pretty much what he does. He just tells us lies about ourselves, our spouses, and even God. He’s a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44) Our enemy is a defeated liar.

Here’s who our enemy is NOT: our spouse. No matter what his failings might be, he’s not our actual enemy. Our enemy is not flesh and blood. Even if our husband is listening to the enemy, HE is not the enemy and this is SO important to remember because if we start getting confused about WHO our enemy is, we’ll get this whole thing backward. Have you seen the movie Face Off? Through a crazy chain of events, an FBI agent and criminal end up having face transplant surgeries and look like the other person (FBI guy looks like criminal and vice versa.) As you can imagine, it gets a little tricky when people don’t know who the real enemy is. It’s kind of the same in marriage. Our REAL enemy lies to us and tries to convince us that our spouse (the one we love, that God has given us and blessed us with) is our enemy. If we believe him, we start to destroy our spouse and marriage and because our focus has changed, we leave our real enemy alone. Seriously. Don’t forget who your enemy is not.

Next, we need to look at who our God is. OUR GOD IS AMAZING. Not only has he completely and utterly defeated and defamed our enemy, but he loves us with the most perfect love. He is love and truth. He is all knowing, operates outside of time, is all powerful, sovereign, and holy. He is our creator, savior, comforter, shelter, rock, healer, and strong tower. He gives grace and mercy and never stops loving us. God sent us a perfect savior and the Son of God himself became a HUMAN and operated within the time he created and lived in the earth he designed so he could save us from the punishment we deserved. That’s who our God is.

Finally, let’s look at who we are. We are the beloved of the Lord. We were created in his image and knit together by his hands. Because of what Jesus did for us, we are the redeemed of the Lord, blessed, righteous, filled with power, love, and a sound mind, and perfectly loved. He has given us authority over the enemy. He literally gave us authority and power over demons on this earth. Woah. You know what’s even cooler than that though? He tells us that that authority is nothing compared to the victory we have in eternal life with him.

Us then and now

Our enemy is a powerless liar. Our God is perfect in power. We are given authority and perfectly loved by God. I know I haven’t really talked about marriage yet but YOU GOTTA KNOW THIS.

Marriage is something incredibly special and unique. There is no other human relationship like marriage. In marriage, two human beings join themselves together in a covenant and bind together as one. It is a lifelong covenant designed to mirror the love of God for his people. In a marriage, we not only radically change each other but often are able to influence our children and our children’s children for generations to come. A strong marriage has the ability to enact powerful change in the world. Our enemy does. not. want. that. God designed marriage FOR us and for his kingdom. It's meant to be amazing.